Wednesday, January 20, 2010

In Search Of The Silver Lining

It's late, not the late type late. The late where it's one o'clock in the morning. And I'm "suppose" to sleep by my twins orders. Who could sleep at this hour? Not me with this insomnia in my head and ideas bugging out of me. I just had to post something so I could be calm.

So where am I? asked Kimi. Well lets not answer that just yet. Mainly some place I'm trying to find my identity. And for starters, that's this year's (and Insyaallah after this) is this blogs motto.
"In Search of The Silver Lining"

What I thought was going to great year wasn't as such I expected. I'm worried. Not about myself, but for others, and especially my twin.....

Firstly I want to go to the subject of "what is actually the Silver Lining"?
Well, the silver lining is simply an idiom used, it means: after every hardship there will be happiness.

And I believe that........
The only problem was that the person who taught me this isn't so keen to hear this.
There was the problem of banning the debate team, debaters leaving the school and my twin getting worried with her SPM, MTQ and Debate all at once. Of course she told me all about this.

I remebered telling me that if there was hope, then the hope was fragile, but not now. I learned that besides hope there was also the human will to continue on, and this is what will change everything. I believe in hoping a HOPE.

I wondered where was my twin? My hope and my strength that stood by my side last year. This was one thing I really needed especially in my condition. I believe that there is a reason behind all of this. I believe in lasting peace.

I wished to see back the helpful and unworried face that I met last year, because I knew that was what that made me go one all these times.

Right now I could hear it in my heart, the wheezing, the sorrow and the pain. But all of that will go away when I saw the Silver lining. I wished the same for my twin.......

An ever lasting peace and happiness, that is the end of the silver lining, that is the "Siratul Mustaqim"

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Birthday Surprise............

I'm 7 going to 8 in just a few days..........

Fakhry!!! it's almost your birthday, my mom said.

I was a little sceptical, for some reason there wasn't any snow outside my window. It was hot, very hot, not the usual snow or the loud songs I would here during christmas, not that I celebrate it. Ever since that long trip on the plane, I realzie that there wa something different with this "new place". I didn't took any notice. I just went through, maybe the clouds were waiting for my birthday to snow, yes I assuered myself.

31st december 2000

I woke up and quickly grab my sweater. It was my birthday!!! I was 8 years old!!!

It was still dawn, I quickly ran down the staircase careful not to trip.
there must be snow, must be snow, MUST.

I opened the front door with my sweater in hand. As I opened it I saw something dissapointing.


and to make things worse, it was rainning!!!!

I slumped on the front door, what has happened, I thought. Then the realization came to me.

This wasnt home, he wasnt in America anymore, wherever he is it was hot, chaotic, I cant even understand the language here.

tears fell off my eyes, wondering what I did wrong. I went back into my room with utter confusion. What was happening, where was the soft white snow? where was the bright white sky and the frozen ice ponds? where? it was suppose to be a joyful day today but it wasnt.

Then my mom came to me and hugged me.

She asked me to close my eyes and think back the days where our courtyard was filled with snow, we could play sledge outside, we could create snowmen and most of all, the air was filled with laughter and exitement. Remember that Fakhry, remember those moments.

31st Decemeber 2009

Im 17 now, it has been 10 years since the last time I step foot in America, I realize that the reason I came to malaysia was to find my Identity, my purpose.

Whenever something bad happenns I will close my eyes and I will remember:
  • The time iwill be playing in snow
  • The time when I was given the title of "elder brother"
  • When I was made BADAR
  • When I was made Head Prefect
  • When I lead my team to debate Musleh

I will remeber that because I realize that htha was the best birthday present