Not that I mean hard, as in hard to do, but hard to teach, hard to make sure they understand you.
I remember teaching the Hamidians about finding the issues of the debate, and told them what direction they should take when going for a motion, yes you might say they would nod at every bit you say, but in my buzzing head, there's this "not-so-good-feeling" that these people in front of me don't understand a thing I'm trying to say.
And it all went more worst when they actually went to debate competitions and didn't do what I asked them too. It was like: "did they understood me?" LOL
And after that debate, one of them told the other
"ajaran abang Fakhry macam tak betullah, susah"
I was like starled when I heard that, thankfully someone else said
"don't say something like that, he was the one whom fought this team and actually one with a very high margin, it's ridiculous"
I never expect any of my juniors to actually pay back what they might think as "ilmu tak betul", because for me, I don't want any of my students to understand debate "the hard way" as in a hardcore way, your bullied, betrayed and left to rot by other trainers, I never want that to happen to them, I try to be as good as a trainer for everyone, yet in the end I know that there might be that small portion of people that actually wouldn't be able to understand me. Hmmph
I remember my time training with Azri Asyraf, it was so brutal I felt i wanted to run away from debate. but I couldn't, Nafeesa entered debate so somebody had to be her "bodyguard" with these brutal trainers. So in the end I had to go threw.
I laugh out to myself how good I could be by training with them, not to mention how quick I would understand, but always to me, my weakness of feeling inferior always makes my abilities go down. that's something I don't like: feeling inferior in the team.
I always love to be the leader, the think tank of my team, it gives me more confidence in what I want to say. LOL
Yet, how many times I could see it, it's as if this idea of being inferior in the team is much more better than when I'm a leader, LOL
just look at it, I've never actually did good when I was leading the team, losing in octos and IDC and quarters at Musleh.
While under inferiority I didn't stink that much, look at how I did when I teamed up with Saddiq or K.Naf. from my point of view, it just looked ridiculous. LOL
What does this idea proves? (well for me to be exact)
it shows that it's better to be in a team that you feel inferior, that you would have to follow orders, because sometimes, when we are the head of the team, we tend to be arrogant with other people, we tend to not be consistent with our teammates, we're not developing as a team rather just as an individual.
What does this have to do with your training?
well, it means it's better if I make you feel underestimated, inferior with, mad (maybe sometimes) so by no means you would work more better in a team than as an individual, better make sure you force your own potential when you feel inferior and underestimated than you underestimating your opponents, because your huge head thinks that your so great and ignorant of the fact your falling into there trap.
As in the old book Sun Tzu the Art of War
"when thy is strong, become modest, do not underestimate your opponents nor your allies"